We are a quasi-professional bomb disposal team based in the Canberra region. If you locate a suspicious looking object that could be a bomb but may also be a mouldy tuna-bake that somebody* left in the fridge for two months saying, "no, don't throw it out, i'm still eating that" - then call us** to check it out and potentially dispose of it in a controlled implosion... or a really sturdy black bin bag.
And remember: we promise not to shoot the hostage!
** Only call us if you've already tried the real bomb squad and they're out at a team-building lunch, bar mitzvah or a funeral or something. Please also note our hours of operation are 1:30pm - 2:00pm most Thursdays and we may arrive not wearing any pants on the third Thursday of the month as it's washing day.
A Message from Deano & Marty:
After our beloved Nan died in a tragic BBQ explosion, we decided we needed to do something, not just sit by and let other Nanna's explode willy nilly, not just watch as the bad guys blow up another damn bus, we decided to put our own lives at risk and stop just about every damn bomb we can find.
And so the Trainee Bomb Squad was born.
We might not have the fancy gear the pros have, we might not really know what we're doing, we might not be able to tell C4 from Blu Tak but goddamn we got something that the others don't...we don't know what that is yet but we'll work it out ..sooner rather than later...hopefully.
In the meantime, stay tuned cause shit's about to get real.
Deano and Marty Colt
Trainee Bomb Squad
(N.B. Not Available in Afghanistan)
If it's ticking we get to kicking...
Don't go boom...let us!